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Advice on Dealing With Divorce or Separation

Couple divorce mediation

It is understandable that facing a divorce or separation is one of the most difficult situations that you may ever have to face. The entirety of the divorce or separation process can turn your life completely upside down and can leave you feeling isolated and alone.


As this is an extremely sensitive situation in which tensions and emotions are likely running high, you may be seeking some advice or guidance when facing a divorce or separation as well as some support on the legal aspects of a divorce. This article offers a range of advice, from how to deal with a divorce or separation to the legal processes involved when facing a divorce or separation. The team at Hurlows Family Law Practice have many years of experience representing our clients during a divorce or separation. Should you require more information then get in contact with a member of our divorce solicitors today. 


Advice When Initially Experiencing a Divorce


Whether you are the person who has decided to go forward with a divorce, whether you have mutually agreed or if a divorce is issued against you – this is an extremely difficult situation. As there is a huge amount of uncertainty suddenly forced upon you, it can be very difficult to find your bearings and you will likely have a lot of unanswered questions about the future. The actual divorce process itself can be much more difficult as it is not just the end of the relationship but the end of hopes and dreams that came alongside your relationship.


When initially facing a divorce, it’s highly important to appreciate that we are all human and that you are allowed to feel the natural emotions that will follow when facing the divorce. Taking time and acknowledging that you may not be at your full 100% is highly important as well as ensuring that you speak to family and friends to discuss your emotions. The pain and uncertainty that follows a divorce is difficult to face therefore it can be highly beneficial to not have to face it alone and to discuss your emotions with close friends or family. You can focus on getting through this process and that can renew a sense of optimism that can help you proceed with the divorce process.


The Natural Grieving Process


As this is a natural reaction to loss, a divorce or separation becomes even more difficult as you are experiencing multiple losses such as loss of companionship, support and future plans. Although it may seem as if you are facing a dark future in which there is no recovery, the grieving process is a natural process that will help with the process of moving on and allows you to accept that the relationship has come to an end.


People tend to mention that time is a great healer and although this may not seem apparent at this extremely difficult time, over time the feelings of grief will move from to the acceptance stage in which you can begin to accept that your relationship is over and that it is now time to move forwards.


Making Decisions During a Divorce


Although some divorces can end amicably and decisions can be made regarding finances and agreements relating to children, sometimes this is not the case. If it’s not possible to reach agreements regarding finances or agreements on children then there are a few routes that you can take. We will discuss children & divorce in more detail in this article and we will discuss the other routes that you can take should it be difficult to reach informed decisions regarding finances, children and life after the divorce is finalised.


Seeking Divorce Mediation

Couple in divorce meeting

Divorce mediation is one route to take should you be finding it highly difficult to reach decisions with your estranged spouse. This is not a form of marriage counselling as divorce mediation is designed to help reach agreements directly relating to the divorce process and arrangements after the divorce is finalised. It’s important to bear in mind that divorce mediation isn’t ideally suited for every case and in some cases, this simply may not be enough to reach a decision.


The reason that mediation is highly recommended is due to the fact that it can diffuse difficult situations and reach decisions that are legally binding. The divorce mediation process involves a third party mediator who will help to mediate the proceedings and discuss action plans going forwards. Should you reach agreements on financial arrangements or arrangements regarding the children then the legal mediator can draw up financial agreements or parenting plans that can be taken to court and are legally binding.


Do You Have to Attend Court?


The second route that may have to be taken is reaching agreements in court. Although this is often not the preferred route to take, unfortunately sometimes having to attend court is the only way to reach amicable agreements (especially if it is highly difficult to communicate with a spouse or if you are at risk from being in communication with them.) In some cases, even if mediation is pursued – talks may break down and you find that you have to attend court anyway. Solicitors try to avoid the need for clients having to attend court due to the fact that court battles can increase tensions as well as incur vast legal fees if decisions still cannot be reached. 


If you do have to attend court then it is highly recommended to seek the advice and representation of a family law solicitor. This is to ensure that a fair outcome is reached and that you have a legal expert that is fighting in your corner. As a court case can seem as if your private family issue has become public, family law solicitors are also able to offer you emotional support during this understandably difficult and stressful situation.


Children & the Divorce Process


Divorce is especially difficult for children as they tend to take the brunt of the situation. They may feel especially sad, stressed or feel that they are to blame for the separation. Although divorce is an extremely stressful and difficult process for all involved, it can especially negatively impact children. It is highly important therefore, to reach decisions that are best for the children and this is reflected by the fact that the courts will always make or support decisions that are in the children’s best interests should they become involved in the decision process. Although in some situations it’s highly difficult to reach decisions in certain cases, it’s recommended to:


  • Not blame the other parent or speak ill of them to children.
  • Stay in contact with children constantly so that they do not feel isolated.
  • Do not argue about children or infront of them.
  • To remember that your children will want both parents involved in their life.


As divorce is highly difficult for everyone involved, working with a family law solicitor can help you during this process. Not one case is the same but an experienced family law solicitor has likely represented a client that has been in a similar situation and can advise you on the situation at hand.


Further Divorce Information

Family facing a divorce

Our family law solicitors have many years of experience in family law and have represented numerous clients during the divorce process or other cases relating to family law. Should your require more information on the divorce process or if you require a family law solicitor in Cardiff then enquire with our team of expert solicitors today.

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